Why I Broke The Tie

          I wanna write this because I am frustrated. I wanna say I hate this person, yet deep in my heart it says I miss this bitch. Life sometimes says decisions are to be made so that we can move on whatever we've been through. Now, I wanna tell you a story why I broke the tie between me and a bitch named Rhems.

          We've been friends for 4 long years since I landed MSU-Marawi. We were in the same college, him in Biology and me in Chemistry. We were also debate partners and that's the reason why we became close. Both of us are from different walks of life but there is still a common denominator that bonds us on why we became friends til I broke the tie. Recently, when I was hired in Convergys December 2009, I've been eager and so excited to see him since he was the one who settled in Cebu last year's May. Things changed and I really noticed that. Promises were kept that he will see me on his RD's but definitely, promises were made to be broken. Til now, we never meet. Then here comes a time when I decided that I had to give up our friendship because I felt he doesn't need me anymore as one of his friends.

          I gave up. I was very honest to him that it's time to say goodbye since I was hurt and frustrated. Nobody knows how I really needed a friend that time. No one has any idea how it was very hard for me to live a single and lonely life here in Cebu. I am aware that my decision was very abrupt, stupid, shallow and bad since I ended up a friendship that should be cherished for years. We made that in a step by step process and there was already a foundation in it. There were memories that are wonderful to be shared to people who need inspiration for their dreams to come true. No other story can be compared on how we made it in MSU even if he was the only one who got the diploma, me left behind almost shattered and dead.

          Dude, if you only know, I miss you and I still value you as part of my very precious past. But I'm so sorry, I'm already big. Life has to move on with great decisions and basically, I am firmed I can live now without you as a friend.

An Open Letter

Dear Robert,

           Forgive me but I like you. I just don't know why. It's really hard to feel this way, and I'm guilty of having this. I know it's not right, but I feel that's what makes me happy. Don't you see it? I like you. And I'm afraid I am now ready to love you like what I felt long before.

           As days passed since I met you in January, things evolved and my life started to change. I don't know. But I once told my room mate that it's like I'm back in high school whenever you're around. I like everything about you, though not everything, but I know you are already a great package for someone who is looking for a real love.  Anything about you is considered special. I checked that long ago before I made a critical judgment on you. You're better than "fine" because you are intelligent and smart. And it's not a doubt that you are handsome, everybody knows you really are. But I just hope you also know, though everybody likes you because of what you are, nothing can compare my deep appreciation for you. I like you, more than how they do.

           There are times that I am insecure because I feel I am nothing compared to you. I don't have the capability to be like you, to be like your friends who look good all the time, and I have no idea what's on your mind. I am sure you're not numb. You know I am pathetic. Loser. Whatever. Shit happens for a reason. But this is me. I'm trying even if I can't. I'm still holding on even if there's no warm response from you. But I'm already tired. I am not patient anymore of following your facebook page everyday. I am already bored of waiting your replies. I keep on looking at my cellphone and dream that one day, I receive even one text message from you. But now I am tired, and I just give up. Just now. I'm so sorry.

            God made plans for both of us. I know I became deviant to His laws but I tell you, I made arrangements with him that all I want from you is purely friendship and company. I never ask anything beyond that. But maybe the High Heavens know that I am really deviant. And maybe, this is also the reason why my story ended like this. I hope you'll be fine with your plans and goals. I wish you all the best things in life that God has to offer. But just remember Rob, please forgive me if I didn't give myself a chance to say, I LIKE YOU.. I tried. It's just time didn't allow me to say it so.

REAL TIME FACES

 December 2009, Waterfront Cebu

If Tomorrow Comes

Just like Tracy, I'm also not aware what happens if tomorrow comes. But what's certain in my mind is that I want everything to be memorable, adventurous and full of fun as my journey starts to penetrate the world of what used to be extraordinary in an average person's mind. Here are some of the best plans that I want to happen this year, and I hope it will:

*HONGKONG - credits to Gladys, my highschool classmate, she already had her HK roundtrip tickets due for August this year. I really want to join her for I know, it will be our first time to travel abroad. My gosh. If it's your first time to travel anywhere in the world, lots of new things will come into your way. I'm looking forward to this date and right now, I'm waiting all day/night long for Cebu Pacific's next International Promo Seat sooner or later. Crossfingers. Give me a break.

*BORACAY or CORON, Palawan - I work in a very dynamic company that is known for well-planned escapades. Yes, they're doing these as incentives to employees who show dedication and passion to their productive jobs and team building as well. I'd love to end my excitement by simply knowing when will it push through. But if not, fine. Rancy, a highschool classmate, just suggested if possibly, we can have a package trip together somewhere in the country. My suggestion? Bora or Coron! Start saving lad.

*SIMALA - Somewhere in my heart, there lies a passion of visiting old and miraculous churches. Simala as what my sister said is  a very nice and breath taking spot in Southern Cebu. I wish I can visit the place considering my demanding job schedule and deprived knowledge of locating the site. But one thing's for sure, I'll be there soon to pray and ask guidance.

A lot of things complete my list of what I am gonna do this year. Part of these are going back to school, meeting new people, touring Cebu's beaches and a lot I swear! I'll just keep you all posted. I wish Keir will be with us the moment I join the trips above.

It's Over

I wake up one day thinking that everything is just a dream. It's over and I'm no longer forced to create a picture of what we should become at the end. People know it's crazy for me to defend things that aren't mean to be argued and appreciated constructively but like what they notice about me, I made a white fortress just for the two of us. Yes, it is wrong because I almost isolate myself from what it seems to be. I know it's over but at least, I am thankful I never become insane. God knows one day, I will be happy for the rest of my life.

The Man Whose Name Starts With F

            "Somewhere in my heart, there is still a part that says I am confused."

     Today is the 16th of January, and I've been here in Cebu for a month and 4 days already. Lots of things happened in my life, and just like yesterday, I can't believe I made it as far as Product Support Training which is a very hard knowledge absorption when you commit to become a Sprint specialist. Part of this, I also realized I'm starting to become an adult and rationalize things with maturity. In line with this, allow me to introduce to you someone whose name starts with F.

     Like no other, he's my wavemate in Sprint and I like him perhaps. For some other reasons, I really doubt our semi closeness because of some issues that sprout between him and another officemate. I know that many days ago, I almost came into a stand that it's time, after 3 years, to welcome myself back in Valentines day until I heard the side of Drew. I can no longer think properly that definitely affects my behavior as me. Anyway, that's just the bottomline. I am certainly afraid that one day, my persona is devastated again just because I allow a certain standard which is not really accepted in the four corners of Catholiscism. Indeed, I am a Roman Catholic.

     The type of life that we have in the training room is like a churning river that boils in an unexpected tempo. It explains our closeness that only occured last week which, at the very start, gave me a smiling start. As a matter of fact, he gave me a hard copy of that picture above after I asked him one. I dunno. I just love the person that you are looking now.

Kiss, Mucobron and the Elevator

My life right now has been filled with lots of things. Pressure, new friends at work, new lifestyle and culture, and new people whom I feel are deserving to be considered role models. Let's talk first about Kiss, the woman behind every agent's success in Convergys.

Kiss or Krst'll is one of a kind. If you see her at first, I assure you you'll dislike her to the highest level because of her arrogance, and toxic presence. Yes, she's VERY pretty and smart and she really pisses people with all her "ew" and "stuff like that" and most of the time, she gives rude comments to those who really need to be guided in the right direction. She's an A type person and very perfectionist which makes you feel uncomfortable. But what else do I forget? After all, as days passed, I discovered that she's a very nice person. I know for the fact that she's already offensive sometimes but if you just listen to what she says, "sticks and stones might break my bones but words like shit won't touch my whole." Words after all do not matter. Just believe in yourself and be open to correct your mistakes. This makes her an icon to me at the end of the day. You only meet her in CVG who strives for the company's excellence in the business arena. Go Kiss!

Yes, our training may be full of pressure but here are some things that add spice to my life. The story about Mucobron and the Elevator is only the same. It's just it only happens with different characters which turn the cake upside down. Well, my share about Mucobron started with my health condition at work. I've been sick of cough and flu for 8 days which forced me to visit twice our company clinic to take this tablet. Here's the good thing. Ang cute ni Nurse. Parang Indian na Arabo na Pinoy. Do you see the picture? Hahahaha... We know one of the challenges in this kind of job is to face boredom while repeating routines DAILY! Basically, at least I'm happy God provide me something that puts heat on my shoes and allows me to think why life is very wonderful and is something to live for. (I'll give you more details soonerrr!)

My elevator routine also makes me sick all the time since we're trained at 9th, check in at 11th, and take lunch at 12th floor. The clinic is even located at 11th floor and there are no other options but to ride in the elevator because the building doesn't have stairs. Foul ass. I saw this person and we used to ride together before our shift starts. For the first time, it forced me again to stare like hell and search for identities para ma add sa facebook. Bitch! haha.. That's just the bottomline but you know what, these events bring joy to me and at least encourage me not to think about missing home for as of this moment, I'm already starting to have a home in Cebu.