This song by the very famous Bette Midler reminds me about faith. That in every faith, there exists hope to explore the endless frontier that brings joy and happiness to an individual like me.
Here in my little crowded room filled with anxiety and empty memories, with windows closed to avoid the entrance of unwanted flying creatures, happy thoughts of becoming someone and being there and to other places tell me to stop, quit my job, book a ticket, and welcome myself back home to put an end to my unfinished business. My home is a place where someone deserving to be a scholar should be in, and somebody who is so innocent and good should not go to and stay. It sits on vague hills beside the mystic lake faced by a majestic sleeping lady dwelling across the unexpected body of blue-black water. And now, I wanna go back home and finish my studies. Can I still do that now that I already have a well-paid job?
Just by peering at the wooden open corner that views the Southeast direction pointing the Northern gates of the land of promise, 160 nautical miles away from where I molded my personality and weird analytical skills, I can still remember the painful past. But even if that was the case, I have to weigh my options in order to decide which path that I need to follow. Contemplating the beauty of any outcome, possible or the impossible one's, I am still insecure. You know what I mean. I don't trust myself anymore. I lose my confidence way back then, those bad memories that pulled me down in the academe and deprived me to continue and pursue graduation. Now that I am already motivated, can I do this without the help and financial support of my parents?
Now that I am half-decided, I only have 6 months to save moolah for this plan and 6 months to enjoy what I haven't done. Sex in the City. Drugs and Injections. I'm only kidding, the hell with drugs. From now on, it will be six months before I re-enter school, go back for good to get a diploma, and debate again for Marawi. I hope I am in the right mind to fix and do what I just thought. False dilemma. If I'll do this, I will miss you for sure especially if you won't go to Singapore anymore.
